


Riddle Me This

by transnygma



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eddie is trans, Multi, Ozzie is ace, Past Abuse, The Riddler is a big dummy, reverse au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-23 20:35:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18709513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transnygma/pseuds/transnygma
Summary: Reverse AU in which The Riddler has all the power in town, taking out mob boss after mob boss, until The Umbrella Boy/Penguin finally solved his riddle





	1. Fish Mooney

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you will enjoy, this was an idea from a friend of mine space_invader on Twitter

The umbrella boy gave an enthusiastic look to the man kneeling in front of him, not really in front of him, in front of the woman by his side, but it was the same thing. It would become the same thing, soon. The umbrella left the space over her hair, and she immediately reacted with a snappy “ _Boy!_ ” who threw in the background his desire to greatness. Maybe not today. But he had other plans, always three steps ahead. 

_If only he knew he needed four._

The woman and the umbrella boy entered back into the club, now completely empty, all the men outside to admire the show, see this traitor’s life slowly slip away from his eyes. 

“Would you like a drink, Fish?”

Fish answered, and the little umbrella away obeyed, going behind the bar to grab what he needed to prepare the cocktail she ordered. Then the lights went out. In an instinct, the umbrella boy flew under the counter, he had no gun and if it was a shootout, he was not sure he would be able to make it out by the power of his only loyalty.

“Riddle me this, I am alive without breath and cold as death. I am never thirsty but always drinking. What am I?”

The boy knew the voice, and he discreetly slipped away from his hiding to have a better look at the events. The Riddler was standing right in the middle of the stage, a detonator in hand and a green light coming behind him, _how dramatic for somebody attacking a world that had to be discreet._

“Riddler, I have not seen you in a long time. What do you want?”

“You give up on my riddle?” The man chuckled, jumping off the stage to face the woman. “The answer was fish. Not my best riddle I have to admit. Anyway, I need a new opponent.”

“And you came to me? Oh thoughtful.” Fish was clearly using irony, unimpressed by the little show.

“Since Falcone fell, I have to admit I have been quite bored. But you, you have potential. So let’s play Mooney.” He raised the detonator where she could see. “The game is simple, I present you a riddle, if it is wrong, the building blows up with you. If it is right, well... you are my new opponent.”

“And what do I get from this?” The woman crossed her arms, and she had a point, being The Riddler’s little toy was no fun at all. Not even for Falcone, may his soul rest in peace, his death had been casted on the town’s TV in the middle of a little game soberly named ‘The Riddle Factory’. 

“You get to have some more interesting thing to worry about than your poor little club or where you will find a new umbrella boy to exploit before throwing him in the bay, also I love your brushing today if you may.”

“Thank you.” The answer was obviously more polite than sincere, the woman was growing out of patience, just waiting for it to be over with. “What is the riddle?”

The Riddler stepped back on stage, and with the gesture and drama that was all his, pronounced his riddle, the green light taking him deep into it. The umbrella boy had to say, this man had something. Clearly he was not the smartest, attacking mob bosses into their own lairs, but this, the riddle, the threat, he had a new kind of crime, some... entertaining kind of crime.

“What word in the English language does the following: the first two letters signify a male, the first three letters signify a female, the first four letters signify a great, while the entire world signifies a great woman. What is the word?” 

The silence following his riddle was deafening, and the umbrella boy was himself caught thinking, if he had to leave the building before it blew up, he would have to answer the riddle. Maybe The Riddler would be the new head of the underworld soon, he had another person to guillotine. 

“What is the word, _Fish_?” The man was taking pleasure, his hand slowly approaching the detonator. Then a gunshot. Fish was on the ground, unable to escape the building, her legs bleeding. “Looks like you have failed.”

The woman knew she would die, but she wanted to die with dignity, not give this rat whatever he was looking for, not give him the joy of her pain, she held back a scream. “I don’t have the answer, Edward.” 

Those words were worst than her lack of reaction, his name was The Riddler, not Edward Nygma. Edward Nygma was dead. “Farewell, goodbye Fish. It was nice meeting you.” He whipped a fake tear away for his face, his face changing into a pout. “The answer was simple, it was...”

“The answer is _heroine_ ” The small umbrella boy stood up, joining The Riddler into the light of the main room. The man was clearly fascinated, leaving his guard down for a second too much, giving the umbrella boy enough time to jump on the green man, pressing his wrist to make him drop the detonator. He reacted on a flash, and clearly did not anticipated that the other one had not one but two weapons, his loyalty was going to fail him. 

The Riddler pulled the trigger, bullet crushing through his knee. It was the best he could do considering the short notice, and quickly found himself back up while the boy was still on the ground, next to Fish who vainly tried to join the fight. “What is your name?” Yes, he tried to make his plan failed, but he solved his riddle. And it was enough to make The Riddler smile. 

The umbrella boy straightened himself, trying his best not to look afraid. “Oswald. Oswald Cobblepot.” 

“Well well Oswald.” The Riddler snapped his tongue, his mouth widely opened in a smile. “Leave Fish. Come with me.” 

After weighting the pros and cons for something like two seconds, Oswald accepted the offer. He was not going to die as a simple umbrella boy! He admired Fish, but not enough to die by her side. The green man grabbed his hand and got him back on his feet, helping him walk out of the room after telling the woman a little ‘Buh-bye!” 

The bombing of Mooney’s club was all over the news by the day after, a boring plan to be honest, The Riddler didn’t even had time to apply his signature green question mark because of the umbrella boy! But it was not all a waste, because now he had _him_. The biggest surprise of the night. Also his new roommate while his wound was healing. Edward’s manor was big enough to contain another person, he even let a few homeless people stay from time to time, like this cat girl. Serena or something like that.  
His manor was located over the town, right in between Metropolis and Gotham, and it was fabulous. Oswald always lived in small apartments in the narrows with his mother, but this clearly was something else. He was impatient to go and see more than what flashed before his eyes before he collapsed, and woke up in the biggest bed he had ever seen, wearing fresh clothes and his knee bandaged in a way that his entire leg could only move all at once or not at all.  
The Riddler was no longer The Riddler as he was eating his breakfast, passing from a news channel to another in quest of something about his crime, but all he had was a small article, the main focus being Fish. What a thief! But then he felt cold metal against the back of his neck. “Good morning.”

“What do you want from me?” Oswald found the gun in the drawer of his bedroom, what a foolish move from the man that was called _smartest person in Gotham_! And even if he came by his own will, he was not expecting the villain to nurse him back to health or to undress him! 

Edward turned around, standing up, gun slipping from his neck to his chest. “Some company. You seem like a good... how to say it... good penguin.” The man chuckled to his own little joke, leaving the gun where it was, not trying to take it away. “I want you by my side. We could rule over Gotham in less than a day if this is your wish. This is not mine, but nobody agrees to be a simple umbrella boy with nothing behind.” 

“Is this all? Just... a partner? This is what you want from me?” Oswald was clearly took by surprise. Never he would have guessed that The Riddler would take somebody under his wing only to rule over town. It all seemed too much.

“Yes. I have come to understand that being a full time villain was very boring. This is why I started the gang wars. But still, something was missing. You are smart Oswald. And I like this.” The man had no other motive, but if Cobblepot chose to shoot him, it would be clear that he would have a greater enemy than some small low criminals and mob boss. “You agreed yesterday. This is why i want to apologise about your leg, now you will probably have a small limp.” 

He could not believe it, what was this. Who was this? It could not be The Riddler. He admired him for so long and now he was... lonely? Very odd. “Why should I trust you?”

“I should be the one asking the question, you just woke up and you already have a gun pointed at me.” 

Touché. The Riddler had a point. Oswald decided to lower his gun, keeping him in the pocket of his pants in case something new would come to his mind. Edward saved him, from a situation he put him in, he owed him in some way. It would have been easy to just leave him to bleed out on the backseat of his car. “They are talking about you?” Oswald pulled a chair as far as he could from Edward, sitting down and grabbing the apple juice and the green waffles. If everything had to be green he would quickly go crazy.

“No, but The GCPD is going to make an announcement soon.” 

This is how the little feud ended. Both men sitting back on their chairs and watching TV while eating breakfast. This is how easily Edward found himself a new partner in crime, even if nobody knew what happened to the last one, Oswald was confident he would not end as a ‘ _Oswald Cobblepot gone missing, if you see him call him call this number_ ’, it would be embarrassing.


	2. Selina Kyle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the tags a little bit, some past abuse will be at the beginning of the chapter

The tree was hitting against the window of the bedroom, and even if most people saw these night sounds as soothing, Oswald did not. All it reminded him was the hits he took every day until recently, falling on the ground breathless and still finding the strength of rolling over to cover his face. When the last hit touched his face, he woke up.   
Something was wrong. His vision was still partially blurry but he knew deep inside that somebody was here, he tried to grab the knife on his nightstand but a hand stopped him from the shadows. The person took off their hood, to let a girl appear, maybe not more than twelve years old. She squinted and then dropped his hand to free him, stepping away.

“Who are you? Where is Ed?”

“Who are _you_ and what are you doing in my bedroom?”

The teenager chuckled, taking her claw gloves off to head to the door, clearly not interested in starting a conversation. “Glad to know Eddie found himself a new boy toy.” She said as she stepped out of the room, closing the door immediately behind her. 

The information took time to arrive to Oswald’s brain, and when it did, his cheeks burned. _Boy toy_ , how dare she? He was Edward’s partner and it stopped there. No weird sex games or whatever The Riddler might enjoy. Cobblepot grimaced, this house was full of surprises. It was too late to actually bother and catch the girl to ask her what she was doing there. He slipped back into his covers, his knife now under his pillow. Maybe he would need it later.

———

The morning after, Oswald arrived to the dinning room to an usual scene, the Riddler was surrounded by two children, both around twelve, giving them a lesson about how to quickly kill somebody. Painless he said. But it surely did not. The girl from last night was one of them, sitting next to a ginger girl who was taking care of an ivy in a pot, climbing on an improvised wall made of a cereal box. The house had always been him and Edward, seeing people was a surprise. But he decided not to say much about that, seeing that The Riddler was not to be disturbed, and sat to eat the first thing he found on the table.  
When the explanation was finally over, Edward bowed down in front of the two girls while they were giving him an applause, sitting at the table and noticing Oswald for the first time of the day, he immediately stood back up and went to the kitchen. When he came back, he was followed by three other people, a man and two women, women who clearly had been kissing each other seeing how their lipstick had mixed.

“Everybody, I would like you to meet Oswald. He was at Mooney’s when I blew it up, but he solved my riddle so now he stays here. Oswald, meet Ivy and Selina...” he gestured to the two kids at the table, who barely waved back at him “and here you have Zsasz, Kristen and Tabitha. Kristen is from the GCPD but she also is one of my best friends so she won’t snitch on us. There is also Fries and Nora but they have a doctor appointment today so fingers crossed you will see them next week.” The man was so excited, like a kid on the first day after Christmas at school, showing off all of his presents to his friends. _Was he his friend?_

Selina looked at Oswald, smiling after recognising him. “Is this the guy you gave your bedroom to?” 

Oswald blushed, he had no idea he was in Edward’s bedroom but now the green covers made sense, the guy was not decorating his entire house in this color, just his own private space! This is why the food had a decent color this morning. Edward had guests.

But before he could say anything, The Riddler cut him. “Yes, I gave him my bedroom because this is the only one with a bathroom next to it, and with his broken leg I couldn’t place him upstairs. Also this is very rude to enter by the window of my bedroom, you could take the door.”

“And miss on you saying riddles in your sleep? Never.”

It was Ed’s time to blush, but nobody seemed to care. It was the most in-character thing he could have done. Tabitha and Kristen returned to the kitchen and Zsasz stole a muffin before leaving. Oswald took the opportunity to stand up, totally ignoring the two girls. 

“I am going to visit my mother today, she must have been worried sick after the bombing.” 

Edward grabbed today’s newspaper, getting back into his chair. “Sure, do you want me to drive you there? With your leg it’s going to be hard to walk.”

Oswald gave it a thought. Bringing Edward close from the person he loved the most would be giving him something to stab him with, but also, he already introduced so many of his friends to him. “Yes, thank you. I won’t leave in too long. Give me thirty minutes.”

Selina giggled again at the amount of time, whispering a small ‘ _boy toy_ ’ to Oswald, knowing he hated it, but the man chose to ignore it. He was grown enough to know that kids were awful creatures.

————

“The point of being green is that whenever I change my clothes, nobody recognises me.” Edward parked in front of the shabby building, finally turning in front of the man in the backseat, “If I went and asked somebody their number, they would not even take a single second to look at who I am. This is the whole point of the mask and clothes. I am saying this in case you ever want to try the crime show.”

Oswald nodded vaguely, only half-listening to the other one. He had been stupid enough to forget to give his mother a phone call, he left without coming back five days ago, it was enough for her to think about the worst scenarios.   
They left the car, and Oswald led the way, Edward following him even if he should have probably stayed in the car, but it did not seem to bother the smaller one. The apartment was at the third floor, and after seeing Oswald battling for the first, Edward decided to carry him to the door. The elevator was broken, and in the ten years Oswald had been there, he was not sure he ever saw it fixed. He quickly thanked the other man before making sure his suit was nice. It was the same one he was wearing since the bombing, no matter how much Edward tried to give him new clothes, but the man already offered him a place to stay, he was not going to insist too much. He already had plenty of clothes at his own place! He then proceeded to knock three times on the door, and before the end of the second, it was already opened on his mother. She started mumbling things in an Hungarian that even Oswald did not completely understood.

“Hi mom, I’m alive.”

The mother pulled his son in a hug, before noticing the tall thing standing behind him, and she immediately dropped the attention on Oswald to offer him to get in, following by a ‘Do you want something to drink?’ at which Ed replied a polite ‘No thank you madam.’ before sitting into the couch, next to Oswald who clearly was furious he did not had more attention. He had been dead for five days! 

“What is your name?” This is when Oswald understood, his mother was trying to show the best face in front of Ed.

“Edward Nygma, I am Oswald’s...”

“Boyfriend. He is my boyfriend. We have been together for the last few days and this is why I did not had the opportunity to call you. Forgive me.”

The mother clapped her hands with delight, before storming to the kitchen, the kettle had been whistling for the past thirty seconds and even if Edward was focused on this one sound, he did not avoid the appellation. The second the woman left the room, he turned his head to the man by his side, raising one of his eyebrows. 

“Boyfriends? What are you doing Oswald?”

Ozzie let out a sigh, pressing his palms against his eyes to avoid the other’s look. “My mother is dying, and I don’t want her to leave this world thinking her son has never even once dated somebody. This is nothing at all, just a little...”

But before he could finish his sentence, Edward was already kissing him. The man was clearly playing the game, so Oswald followed his dance, lacking of experience in kissing to hope leading it as he wished. It was pleasant. Less sloppy than he thought. He was suddenly cut away by Ed, pushing him back when his mother entered the room.

“Forgive me madam...”

“No need for apologise, call me Gertrud. Young people are free to kiss if they want.”

Oswald was still all eyes on Edward, not really understanding what happened. When the newspapers were saying that The Riddler was a mystery, they were right. Before anybody could catch him blushing, he left to his bedroom, refusing any help from the other man or his mother to walk there. He knew how to walk, and he desperately needed some time alone to reflect about the events of the past few days, start a plan from scratch now that he was associated with The Riddler and that Mooney was gone.  
He opened his suitcase on his bed, filling it with the suits in his dressing. What a shame he did not do it earlier, wearing the same clothes for five days? Who was he? Some kind of animal? At least now he had the opportunity to change for his three others. Maybe he would get himself some others after he found a way to make money by Ed’s side. It would probably require robbing a bank and say a few riddles, but who was he to say no to money? 

When he left his bedroom, he found Edward in the middle of a conversation about Hungary with his mother, animated by the desire of knowing more about it. He never left Gotham other than to go to Metropolis and it was his biggest regret, travelling the world was one of his biggest dreams.

“Oh Ozzie, I have to leave for the GCPD, I have to meet with the new cop there. Do you want me to drive you back or...”

Oswald couldn’t stand pet names, but this time, he decided not to make it noticed, his mother was here and it was all a play, there was nothing to worry about. “I will take a taxi, I have some things to do myself.”

Edward stood up, quickly saying goodbye to Gertrud, kissing Oswald’s cheek and then leaving the apartment. His mother finally let the mask fall down.

“Five days! No call from you and bombing at Mooney’s! And you were just with some man!” 

Oswald sighed, rolling his eyes before sitting at the spot Edward left in the armchair, his leg remained fragile and he couldn’t stand long on it. “I am sorry mother, I was busy.”

“Busy? You were just fucking with him!”

“I don’t even have sex!” He would have to lie to get himself out of this, the feeling of not being totally honest with his mother in her last times was painful, but he had no other way, the truth would make him a shame. “After the bombing the police kept me in locking, Edward just paid for my caution before they could send me in Blackgate. I am innocent but they want me to prove it.”

Gertrud decided not to question it more. At least she knew her son was alright and it as the most important part. She kissed Oswald’s forehead, and then went back to her Hungarian mumble. “If you have thing to do you should go. But call!”


	3. Sofia Falcone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get a little deeper into Ed’s habits and Oswald gets some pretty cool time

The dinner was agitated, the table was usually just Edward and Oswald discussing about turtles or new plans to make The Riddler’s name greater, but tonight there was three kids and five other adults. Edward did not seem to know everybody, but amateurs of his home cooking were always welcomed. Oswald knew about the ones he saw the morning, but not about the boy with a turtleneck, the man sitting next to him ready to jump on anybody if they dared standing close from the kid, and the woman who strangely seemed familiar.   
Edward was Edward tonight, no Riddler, he even asked Oswald not to say anything about his crime life, making it obvious that not all of them were villains.  
Oswald found himself sitting in the chair next to Ed’s, but the other one was so often in the kitchen that the only conversation he could get was from the new lady. She said that her name was Sofia, and that she came by Tabitha’s advice. For the kid and the man, it was Bruce Wayne and his butler Alfred, both came with Selina. And Edward could not have been more pleased than by seeing a full table. He had to admit, the house felt a little empty when nobody was trying to kill him. 

“Tell me bird guy, what’s your name?” 

It was Bruce’s words, and even if he hated being called this way, Oswald knew that in a fight with Alfred, he would be the one to lose. “Oswald.” 

He hated the kid in a fraction of a second, this is why he decided not to keep the conversation going, he had tendencies to get rude and the child just lost both of his parents. And Edward would have been sad to have two people leaving his table before the dessert. 

“Is this true that you killed Mooney?”

The table stopped talking, waiting for an answer from the man. Half of the table wanted to know if he was going to betray Ed, the other was just curious to know more about this case that had been the main attraction of Gotham the past few days. Everybody was talking about it.

“Maybe you should know, _kid_ , that putting this big nose of yours into other’s business is not going to help you in this town.” Oswald opted for the neutral, trying not to make himself too guilty and make it stop before the kid became more annoying.

“You did not answer the question, does this mean-“

Oswald stood up, slapping his hands on the table, it was too much. He gave Bruce a glare before leaving to join Edward. He already politely asked him to stop asking indiscreet questions, and the kid kept going. Maybe the Wayne’s should have taught their son to stop this bad habit of his before they passed away. When it came to Mooney, Cobblepot was trying not to talk too much, knowing that the slightest word could make him guilty.  
Edward was busy finishing his meal in the kitchen, and the second the man stepped in, his smile grew bigger. The kitchen smelled like apples and potatoes, 

“Would you like to try this and tell me what you think about it?”

Oswald obeyed, taking the spoon the green man was giving him to try what seemed to be some kind of purée but could be easily mistaken for some sauce. “The Wayne kid. Were you obliged to keep him at your table?” He then tried the spoon, giving it a second to think about what was missing. “Maybe you should add some pepper.”

Edward chuckled after hearing the name, taking the spoon away from Oswald to finish it before throwing it in the sink. “They are investigating on crossed cases at the GCPD, they made The Riddler the number one suspect of the murder of the Wayne, they have to get somebody, having no suspect would be a shame for the police, they also are looking for his real identity. Little brucie here, is my alibi. Which kind of criminal would invite his victim for a nice dinner? Not the Riddler.” He took his plates and gave two to Oswald, if he was here he would help. “Also Selina likes him, and this is rare for her. I am being nice to him since I’m her legal tutor and I don’t want her to think I’m a bad father.”

Oswald gasped, Edward had a kid? How old was he? But before he could ask the question to the other one, he pushed him into the dinning room to go and give something to eat to the other convives. 

————

Everything was so fast in The Riddler’s world, a second after their friendly dinner and the goodbyes to the people who came, Edward was already on TV, giving one of his shows at the GCPD. No crime, just a little meeting with the commissioner. Oswald was bitter, while the other was having fun, he was in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes with Sofia, who was just drying the cutlery when it was done. She was sitting on the counter behind him, waiting for her next task.

“Have you always been in Gotham, Oswald?”

“Yes, born and raised Gothamite. Are you from here?” Oswald gave her a few steak knives, going back to his plates.

“No. I live out of town, this is my first time here. My father died recently so I have to run his affairs a little, put some order.”

“All of my condolences.” Oswald was finally done with his chore, but when he turned around to give the last thing to Sofia, she pressed a knife on his throat. Even if the slightest move could make damages, the man made a pout, complaining. “I just washed it and you already want to cover it with blood? It doesn’t go off easily.”

Sofia was clearly offended, but she decided not to react, pushing Oswald in the living room, knife never leaving his throat. Sometimes the blade slightly cut his skin, making a few blood drops fall on the ground. She pushed him in an armchair and pulled a gun out of her pocket, menacing the man with it.

“Tell me what you know about The Riddler.”

It all finally clicked into his brain, how stupid was he! Leaving his guard down the second Edward was out! Maybe he would have to correct this for the next time. “You are Falcone’s daughter...”

“Yes I know who I am penguin guy.” She closed the door behind her, the room was soundproof, Edward’s idea to be able to play piano without disturbing anybody, leaving Oswald unable to yell for help. Any gunshot would also be absorbed. Also, there was nobody in the manor, leaving him on his own until Edward returned. “He was there at Mooney’s right?”

She pointed at the TV behind the man, the news channel on breaking news about The Riddler in rumoured arrest. Oswald sighed. “Yes he was, he shot my leg but I managed to leave the club before the bomb went off.” At least, he had the upper hand by knowing that she was on Riddler’s territory. That she ate his dinner and complimented it. Adrenaline started coursing through Oswald’s veins, finally something interesting. Being Edward’s friend was entertaining, but he had to admit some attempted murder always had its charm.

“Do you know why he killed my father?”

“He said that he was looking for a new opponent at Mooney’s, Falcone was his last one. If you want you can watch the show, it’s on GTV’s replay. You shouldn’t try and attack this man, he started the gang war just for _fun_.” 

This is when he remembered, Edward told him about his constant plan B, C and D. He probably even had more. While she was asking questions, Oswald was discreetly looking into the chair. A knife. _Riddler, you are a genius_. Obviously, the man would never let himself be taken as hostage in his own house! The sound of the TV was enough to cover the sound of the weapon sliding against the fabric to get into Oswald’s palm. He had to wait for the perfect moment. 

“Do you know what his next plan is?”

Oswald was about to answer when bullets were shot at the GCPD, heard with the TV maintaining his live stream, Sofia let her guard down for a second with the surprise and the penguin chose this occasion to throw the blade into her wrist, making her drop the gun. Cobblepot was the first one to jump on it, and when the woman understood her mistake, she was already running to the door in a last hope.   
He fired the gun, letting the bullet go through her spine. She fell down, unable to push one last time and get out of the house.

“So close Sofia, this is so sad.” He stood back up, closing the button of his suit and whipping an invisible tear sarcastically before pulling her back in.

_The Riddler escaped the GCPD after an apparent fight, the police is asking citizens to stay safe tonight and..._

Oswald almost killed the woman, but he decided to let The Riddler choose her fate. If she wanted to have a talk with him, she would have it. Cobblepot quickly stopped the bleeding and locked her in the living room, laying down in front of the TV and the piano. The house was empty, but Edward was not going to take long before coming back, and while he was waiting, Oswald decided to give himself a nice glass of wine, sitting at the end of the table, his shirt still covered in his own blood and maybe a little splash of Sofia’s, but no kid was here anymore, it was just his moment. His little victory. 

————

Edward entered the house an hour or two after, discovering a dancing Oswald, spinning around in the dinning room, holding an empty wine bottle against his chest and chuckling. The green man took off his purple mask, slipping in the pocket of his jacket and went to catch the shoulder of the other man who barely tried to defend himself from it.

“Eddie... you said twenty minutes...” the smaller man found himself whining, dropping the bottle on the table before putting his arms around the other one.

“What? You missed me?” Edward gave him the hug back, if his friend was becoming touchy while drunk, he could get used to it. “I got into some troubles, but it looks like you did too mister Cobblepot.”

Oswald giggled while Edward was looking at the slight cut on his neck, it could not be self-inflicted with this angle, not a suicide attempt. He did not know the other one enough to take this option out without a little research. 

“It’s nothing, Sofia tried to kill me.” He said this as a joke, stepping away from the tree man to get back to his bottle, but when he saw that it was empty, he frowned.

“Sofia? Tabitha’s friend?”

“Yes, apparently she is Falcone’s daughter, but I took care of her, she can’t do anything right now.”

The Riddler turned pale, putting his purple mask back on his face, looks like the night would be longer than expected. “You killed her?”

“No.” He realised he put a few drops of blood on Ed’s green suit, and attempted to clean it like a mother would do, licking his finger. “She is in the living room, I shot her in the spine but stopped the bleeding.”

Edward pushed the man away, pulling the gun out of his jacket pocket before heading to the living room, but Oswald definitively was not happy about it. He had been left behind enough times to not let The Riddler do it again, ‘ _This is my murder Eddie_ ’ he was throwing a tantrum like a kid would do, following the steps of the green man who got into the room with no problems, only to find an unconscious Sofia laying on the ground. And since Oswald was too drunk to tell him what she wanted by coming here, he simply decided to nurse her back to health before, if she revealed herself uninteresting, ending her life.

“Ozzie, could you lead me to the fifth bedroom, the blue one, I just need you to open the doors for me.”

Edward’s tone was too soft to refuse, so he accepted, already walking there while the other one was carrying the woman. Saying that Oswald was jealous seeing her like this would be an euphemism. He regretted not being the one shot and constantly pouted as he was bringing the medical tools Ed needed to him. 

It took the men half an hour before Sofia regained consciousness, and Oswald was a bit sober, at least he was not whining for attention anymore, even if Ed did not seem to be bothered, probably too focused on his task to notice. The Riddler asked her questions to which she could answer by yes or no, but it quickly became boring. She was just here for revenge and if Oswald already managed to make her unable to move an inch, it wouldn’t be very funny to play with. 

Sofia’s life ended in the garden of Nygma’s property, and got buried hastily into the woods by a limping man and a green one, constantly arguing about if she was really dead or just unconscious. Oswald was not fond of her, but a fear of his was to wake up alive in a coffin underground and he did not want anybody to experience it. 

“What do we do now Riddler?”

Edward never knew what to do after a murder, also he no longer had an enemy, the gang war was not going over the ground yet and his friends already came to his house the same day, all he had left was Oswald. But he had no will to kill him. No, he wanted to see what the other one had planned for his own future.

“We go home now.”


	4. The Riddler

“What about The Umbrella?”

“I know your villain name is lame but don’t do this to me.”

Edward threw a green chalk at Oswald, going back to his board covered in names. It was time for Oswald to no longer be Oswald, if he was going to commit crime, people shouldn’t be able to know who he is. Well that was how Edward saw it, but the other one had to admit that he had no real interest in this kind of ‘entertaining crime’. He was more of a snake, living where nobody could see him do mischief. Also he had no desire in dirtying his hands like he did by the past with Sofia.

“I have a last one but you are not going to like it.”

“Go ahead.”

Edward turned the chalkboard over to make a name appear, that he read aloud with his riddler voice for more emphasis. “ _The Penguin_. The biggest offence, make it yours, make it full of terror, a name nobody in Gotham will dare say in fear of crossing path with you.” Seeing that Oswald was not convinced, the green man dropped into a chair. “I really like penguins, and you don’t have the profile of a shark.”

Oswald made a falsely offended face, placing his hand on his chest. “I could be a shark! I would be the best shark in Gotham! Also people think I killed Fish so it works.”

Edward mumbled something like ‘penguins eat fish too’ before somebody entered his house. He did not even seem surprised, people would get in and out all the time, but when he saw who it was he directly stood up, placing his hand on the board to push it away from anyone’s view. Kristen arrived, a GCPD report in her hands and coffees in the other, she waved at Oswald who was just staring at Edward trying to put his hair back into something somewhat organised. 

“This is all I could sneak out without getting caught, they are all from last week.” Kristen pushed a black coffee over the table to Oswald and gave the other one to Edward. “I don’t know why you are suddenly so interested about this Sofia Falcone, but the cops are getting curious, so maybe you should tone it down a little.”

“Sure. And thank you for the tea, I’ll transfer you the money tomorrow, I won’t have time to do it today.” 

Oswald had never seen Edward in such an awkward position, the man was usually charismatic and flamboyant, but in front of Kristen he was just... a mess. He almost told her a riddle but she left before he could finish, dropping the files on the table to clearly show her disinterest. The second the door closed, Edward fell back into his chair, seeming way smaller than he usually was. Oswald rolled his eyes.

“Ed, she is into women. I am pretty sure she is a lesbian.”

Edward blushed and used his tea to hide it, falling even deeper into his seat, almost entirely disappearing. “I know. But have you seen her? She’s amazing!”

“Don’t try with her she is definitively not interested.”

“I might have already tried a few months ago...”

“I don’t even want to know.”

Oswald stood up and walked to the files. The leg brace Edward made him was working perfectly, and he was almost able to move his knee in a natural way. He split the pile in two, taking one half and giving Ed the other. “Instead of being desperate, let’s take care of our cover.”

Edward mumbled something, too low under the table for Oswald to hear, it was a miracle the man was still standing on his chair and not on the ground at this point, but Sofia was more important.

———

It was a bad move to hide this from Edward, but even after showing a clear desire to rule over Gotham’s underworld, Ed was still focused on making Oswald another one of Gotham’s stage villains, so Cobblepot had his reasons. The first step of his way to power was finding himself a goon, well he already had Edward but he was not intimidating enough to be a bodyguard, so he enrolled one of Fish Mooney’s old right hand men, Butch Gilzean.   
And even if the man was at first trying to kill Oswald, it did not take long for him to accept to be part of his empire, after a little touch of threats on his family and girlfriend of course. This is how business worked in this town after all.

With the money of one of the Riddler’s robberies, he bought Falcone’s old club, provisionally, building a new one where Fish’s used to stand. It was the best spot in all Gotham and nobody was here to take it. He made it clear to Ed that he would pay him back even if the green man wasn’t actually bothered by the loan, he had plenty of money and was not against sharing with Oswald if his ideas were good. And he loved the idea of a club. Clean money and good place to hide in case he ever got in troubles.

By the end of the month, the Iceberg Club opened, and it was all over the newspapers after Edward accepted to use his Riddler to give it a little publicity boost by committing a crime on opening night there. This is when the GCPD started getting involved in all of this.   
The third night, a policeman named Gordon arrived at the club, it was opened for all of course but seeing a cop there immediately got attention, forcing Oswald to go and meet him so he could walk out as fast as he walked in.

“What can I do for you officer Gordon?”

“I was just coming to have a look, the decoration is interesting.” 

Oswald chuckled, who did that person thought he was? He was The Shark. Reconsidering it, maybe he would have to choose a better name than this. “No policeman in uniform would come and just ‘have a look’, if you would like to talk with me I have an office and...”

“I was just intrigued you did not ask for police help after your little Riddler incident.” 

Gordon looked like he was into something, but Oswald just laughed at his face again. “ _Please_ , I am from this town and we both know the police would not be able to do anything if The Riddler ever showed up here, even if he was right in the middle of the stage with a giant ‘Catch me if you can’ glowing over his head.”

He had a point, and Gordon did not find anything to say. Somebody arrived and quickly slid his arm around Oswald’s waist, giving him a cup or whatever you could find at the bar that was green. Gordon rolled his eyes and left the club. He had nothing to do here, Cobblepot had no troubles dealing with his own things, he was not even on duty. Edward bent to be able to whisper in Oswald’s ear, taking his arm off now that Gordon was gone.

“Your mother called Ozzie.” 

The man whispered in his ear, and Oswald’s heart sank as he was rushing to his office, Edward by his side. In his office, Cobblepot immediately took the phone on his desk while the other one was making sure the door was closed. 

“She just wants an invitation at your club, but we have something more important to discuss about.”

Oswald never felt more relived, Edward had not the best methods but it worked, nobody would suspect anything. He fell into his armchair, asking Gabe to leave so he could stay alone with the green man, who emptied his green alcohol cup in a single time.

“You and I. We have been working together for a month now, and you’ve not done anything with me yet.” 

“What do you mean? We got rid of Falcone together, we got you a new suit together, we opened a club together and we even cooked dinner together yesterday!”

“This is not what I meant.” Edward sat in the chair in front of Oswald, grabbing a pencil that was resting next to his agenda. “I am bored. I miss the thrill of doing something actually bad. Robbing banks is a piece of cake! Also you agreed to be my partner and that included you accompanying me and helping me with my plans. I am not just a catchphrase you can use whenever you need a boost for your club’s popularity.”

It was all coming back to this, Edward’s need to be seen. He was Gotham’s most wanted criminal and it wasn’t enough for him. “What is your plan? Going to City Hall? Kidnap the mayor again? Blow up a building? Say a riddle? You’ve already done it all. Nobody is going to be impressed. Let yourself be forgotten a little and come back stronger. This town needs something to be afraid off, but your game is starting to get weak Riddler.”

Edward couldn’t believe his ears. It took a few seconds to settle in but Oswald was right. He got predictable. The man simply stood up, dropping the pen where it originally was and left the office, not giving a single look at the other man who regretted what he said. But it was the only way. The cops were prepared to do anything to lock The Riddler behind bars, in a way, he was protecting his friend by breaking his ego.

A few minutes later, Oswald went back to the night, back to the dim blue lights, back to what he was best for. Not the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little slow, I just like that dynamic for them


	5. The Riddler

The Riddler’s disappearance did not go unnoticed. His last crime was more than 3 months ago and the GCPD was finally starting to relax, already seeing the creep dead in a ditch and not ready to come back. But not for officer Gordon. The man regularly went to the Iceberg Lounge, where his last crime occurred, in hopes of finally having something to throw both him and Cobblepot in Blackgate where they belonged. Both men had the same kind of aura, making you fear you might get stabbed in a second if you dare stand closer. He never actually stood close enough from The Riddler to confirm his theory, but he knew it. Cop instinct.

Of course, having the policeman at his club made that Oswald was even more careful when he had to deal with reluctant alcohol buyers or people who came to the club only to grope Tabitha’s ass. Taking care of his staff was Cobblepot’s first priority, and whenever the woman needed a place to take care of this kind of problems, Oswald was here to give her the place and all the tools she wanted.

The Iceberg Lounge quickly became Gotham’s first nightclub, making Oswald the first reseller of alcohol in the whole town. The only shadow in his victorious painting was the man that helped him there. Edward Nygma.  
After having to put his Riddler suit in the closet, he had only been the ghost of himself, helping at the bar or for the piano interludes with no real interest. He only did this to remain close from Oswald. He had to drag him back at the manor every night after 1 AM for him not to overwork himself. Running a business was hard but it was no reason. Oswald broke something inside him but he still took care of him. He felt like it. He wanted to.

This night was quite a calm night, like every Tuesday, and Edward was sliding cocktails at the bar while talking with Zsasz about one of Gotham’s recent crimes, a man who was destroying people’s skull by their ocular globes. It was enough to captivate Victor’s attention. And both of them were so deep into this talk, trying to understand how to build such a tool to notice Oswald’s arrival. Zsasz only noticed when the man cleared his throat, forcing him to leave his spot and the previous conversation he had. Cobblepot did not sit, he checked his watch nervously before managing to say a few words.

“I heard a new restaurant opened nearby, and I was wondering...”

“If I can close the Iceberg? Sure, I know how to do it.” Edward gave the other a smile, who had to take a second before finally finishing his sentence.

“If you would like to come. With me.” 

Edward was left without words for the first time in an eternity, probably in his whole life, his breath stopping for a second before his cheeks turned bright red. 

“Yes. I would love that. Let me find somebody to replace me and I’ll be there in a second.” 

Oswald could barely contain his joy, moments shared with his friend were always a pleasure but this time there was something else. He wanted to make sure Edward was handling his way back to being only Edward correctly. He was good at hiding his emotions, or maybe wasn’t he paying enough attention, he didn’t know. He gave his friend a smile as Ed was walking away, into the staff only part of the club to go pick up his jacket and say that his shift was over, Cobblepot’s order.

The two men quickly arrived to the place, Oswald shyly admitting that it was his first time in such an impressive place, and Edward assuring him that it was not much more different than a dinner at their place. The manor just didn’t have the chandelier and the waiters.  
When they got to their seats, Edward directly started the conversation, first about the napkins and then the menu, the wine card, everything that was around him. And Oswald was more than happy about it. He never was the kind of person able to start a talk even if it was with somebody he knew so much like Ed.

“I have a question, is Selina your... _daughter_?” Oswald had been tormented by this question for months now without ever being able to ask it. And for answer, he got a laugh from the other man.

“Not biologically. And I don’t think she sees me as a father figure.” Edward stopped playing with his napkins, folding it over and over from a penguin to a shark, both origamis starting oddly similarly. “This is a long story.” 

Oswald finally found the courage to take Edward’s empty hand in his over the table, his ears getting immediately warmer when their skin touched. “Good. We have a long time ahead of us.”

Edward did not let go of Oswald’s hand while he was telling him about how he found himself to be administratively Selina’s father. Starting by how her parents left her in the streets and how she got arrested many times for theft and almost got taken away from the town, before finally arriving to the conclusion of how he asked one of his friends, Harvey Dent a lawyer, to help him in exchange of a favour he did to him a long time ago when they both were still high schoolers.  
Oswald was all eyes for the man. The lights made that his eyes looked full of sparkles like a Thursday night for one of his dinners. The only time he took his attention away from him was to order something, the rest of the time he remained hypnotised, his thumb caressing the back of Ed’s hand and his other palm maintaining his head up. 

The night passed at the speed of light, and before they could realise, the two men were walking into Gotham’s streets, side by side, with no precise destination. Edward had kept the conversation going the whole dinner, sometimes even making all the talk but Oswald was not going to complain. He liked it. He liked him.

“Turtles are now an endangered specie, can you believe? This is because of hunt and global warming. They don’t have enough space to reproduce themselves enough because of humans...” 

Edward could go on for hours, and this is what he already did. But Oswald took his hand to make him quiet for a second, eyes meeting his before he finally asked the words he had been dreading for a long time.

“I have noticed... I am sorry Eddie. I know how hard it is for you to be without _him_. How are you?”

Oswald’s words were confused, but he never had to face this sort of situations before. Edward was a whole new world, a whole new discovery to make. The green man tensed, pressing Oswald’s hand a little. He stayed silent, walking by muscle reflex.

“Do you know about Golden Numbers?” Ed questioned, a wide smile coming back on his face, ready for more conversation about things he was passionate about. “This is 1, 2, 3, 5...”

And there was enough Golden Numbers for Edward to be able to keep going for a decade, except Oswald was not ready to let it go. He felt guilty for what he did to his friend and just escaping the questions by dropping more trivia was not going to be the way. He asked again, this time blocking Edward from walking away, both of his hands on the man’s arms. They were close from the Iceberg and people could see them but this was not the matter, Edward was the matter.

“I know how much he meant for you. Don’t try to make me believe you are perfectly fine.”

Oh odd was it to speak of The Riddler as if he was a third person. A childhood friend Edward had that left recently. It made him laugh at Oswald’s face.

“I am perfectly fine Oswald, especially after a night like this one.”

It was not true, but it felt like he would not get anything from the man. He gave up after asking for a third time and getting another lie. He just decided to go back home, calling their driver so he could come pick them up. Edward spoke of Golden Numbers the whole time, adding some Fibonacci theories over it. Like a broken record constantly repeating the same two words the whole track.

The manor was private, it was just them, and maybe Selina if she wanted to come and steal a peanut butter sandwich. But Edward did not stop. 

“But it goes higher than 3 numbers, you can get to a billion very quick.”

It was too much for Oswald, he just froze, before turning in front of Edward to grab his coat, lowering him at the level of his face to make their eyes on the same level.

“Stop with this Ed. I care about you. I would do anything for you. Tell me what is wrong.”

Nygma was stubborn enough to kiss him on the spot, blurring Oswald’s mind enough that he forgot was he was originally mad at Edward for and just gave it back, lips pressing against his and hands dropping his coat to locate themselves higher, one in his hair and another behind his neck, as if asking for him not to stop. So Edward didn’t. He kept on kissing him all night long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah they gay keep scrolling


	6. Gertrud Cobblepot

It only took one second to ruin the entirety of their night. Ruin the warmth in Oswald’s chest when he was into Edward’s arm, laying on their bed. It was exactly eight o’clock when his phone rang on the nightstand. The man rolled his eyes before picking it up, pressing it against his ear while getting up to sit in the bed, his face changing from the happiest he had ever been to the most sorrowful the man laying next to him had ever seen.

“ _Gertrud Cobblepot died in the course of the night at the hospital, it was painless, she fell asleep and never woke up..._ ”

Everybody had a different reaction to this kind of news, but Oswald did not react, he just sat there, phone against his ear and mouth open, not being quite able to know what to say. His brain was dizzy, empty. Edward gently took the phone away from him, listening to what the doctor was saying before hanging up for him.

He opened his mouth to say something but just ended closing it. Words weren’t enough.

———

The Iceberg was closed the entirety of the following week, Oswald too busy dealing with the information to go there and manage the tons of things a club required to go on. He could barely go on himself. Edward forced him to eat, drink, sometimes let all his tears all go as he was holding him. The man never dealt with a death himself, except for his turtle Newton when he was seven, but he knew enough about Oswald’s connection with his mother to know what he needed at the time.

The funerals happened in little committee, Gertrud only had a few friends and a son, but it was good enough. The ambiance was odd. Saying goodbye one last time when she wouldn’t pinch your cheek and hold you afterwards. Oswald didn’t cry. He could have, but it just did not happen. His eyes were too dry. He quickly talked with her friends before being almost alone in front of her grave. Edward was here but he was staying behind, here to help if he needed. Oswald chuckled, pressing his hand against his mouth the second after.

“When I was just a kid, she would come to see me in my bed before I had to sleep and every time she would tell me ‘Oswald, don’t listen to the other children, you’re handsome, and clever, and someday you will be a great man’, she said that every time. And that’s all I have left now. Memories.”

He turned to the other man, his arm extending for him to come take his hand. And he did.

“She never saw the wrong in people. She always found the good in them, and she loved you.” On this last word, his eyes went back on the grave in front of him. “I don’t even remember how many times she asked about you when I went to visit her. ‘How is Edward?’ ‘Is your boyfriend still nice to you?’ ‘Next Hanukkah I will make a sweater for your Edward’...” Oswald sobbed, before regaining his calm. “I should have kept the surprise forgive me.” 

Edward pulled the other into his arm. He only met Gertrud a few times but she already was like the mother he never had. He let a tear roll on his cheek.

“It’s alright” the man pressed a kiss on the other’s cheek, voice broken by a sob. “I know she wouldn’t have been able to keep the surprise herself.”

A man approached them, taking his hat off to place it on his chest, giving a look to the tombstone. He let out a little sigh, making Oswald immediately jump. Grief put him on the constant edge and he saw this as a disrespect, but he decided not to kill him this second, by pure respect for his mother who did not deserve to see her grave stained with blood.

“Who are you?” He almost spit his words out, no matter how much Ed was trying to sooth him by caressing his hand with his thumb.

“My name is Elijah Van Dahl. I used to be very close from her. I tried to be on time at the funeral but it looks like it’s already over.” The man looked up to the pair, putting his hat back on his head after pressing his grey hair back. “Who were you to her?”

Oswald was going to throw a rock on him at this instant if Edward did not answer for him, blocking both of his hands behind his back.

“He is her son, and I am his partner. Thank you for coming, I am sure she would have been pleased to hear it...”

“Gertrud never told me she had a son... How old are you?”

Edward answered again, for the sake of Elijah’s life. “Oswald is thirty.”

The man’s face seemed to freeze in shock, and Oswald stopped fighting for his well deserved murder seeing it. He just pushed Edward and started to walk away, but the man stepped out of his stupor.

“Wait! I... I was engaged to her but she never told me i had a son...”

———

The meeting had been short, Oswald was too mad about the man leaving his mother for business to actually take the time to think about the situation. Elijah gave them his address if they ever wanted to recontact him, Edward took care of saving the paper in his pocket before Oswald could have the idea of burning it.  
Back at their home, Oswald was just throwing stuff on the ground in the living room, too busy ruining the breakable objects to listen to Edward, who had a very good list of why he should at least give him a chance, the man was sitting on his black piano to keep it safe from any damage, it was a piece of furniture of great value!

“Thirty years Edward! Thirty! And not once he came to see my mother! He probably got married to some whore and started a new life! He never showed himself once when we were starving when I was young! Not once! And he expects _me_ to accept him in my life now that she is gone?”

There goes Selina’s gift for Edward’s birthday against the wall, no hard feelings, it was ugly anyway. 

“You heard him, he wants to know you Oswald. He maybe wasn’t here for the past three decades but he is making himself up for it. He is trying.”

“He should have tried earlier!”

When the living room was done being broken, Oswald entered the dinning room, followed by Edward who was just letting him do what he wanted. The manor needed to be redecorated anyway.

“Oswald, his name is Van Dahl...”

“Why should I care about that?”

Edward rolled his eyes, sitting on the table before finishing his sentence. “His name is Van Dahl, it’s the name of one of the oldest families in Gotham. This is almost as important as the name Wayne here.”

Oswald stopped for a second, a green vase in his hand, laughing at Edward before taking his snobbiest attitude.

“Oh well look at me, being part of Gotham’s royalty!”

“Exactly! And do you know how much a name can do? It can get you invited into the highest society, I heard about a dinner with the crème de la crème of Gotham’s elite and the Van Dahls are a part of it. You could be a part of it. A lot of very important business takes place during that night. Commercial opportunities for your club or more!”

Oswald still crushed the vase against the wall, like a cat would do, before approaching Edward, slightly confused.

“The family is not just him? There is more Van Dahls?”

“No, I heard of a very small legacy but he Elijah has no rightful child. Just adopted. Two young adults. They are probably vultures looking for money. But you have something more than them, you have the blood.” The man pulled Oswald closer, stealing a kiss from him. “The Van Dahls also are a tailoring family. Which means more suits for us.”

Both men looked at each other, right in the eyes, before they started laughing with their whole lungs. _Oh it was going to be fantastic..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wondered how Oswald would have reacted to Elijah if he wasn’t brainwashed


End file.
